10 Bells

Wow.

VERY low key. Nice, actually.

Cebu, Phillipines

This is wrong on SO many levels, it's scary.

Happy New Year. Mobile blogging later.

Cali's

What a freaking riot.

I love these guys, but hate being here alone.

At least I know people here.

Merry Christmas

Wisconsin Christmas

Typical Wisconsin Winter / Christmas.

Saturday - it was 46 degrees, and raining. Sunday morning, it was 18.

my secret santa knows i'm a drunk.

Strange. We drew each other's name, and we both bought each other the same thing.

If you drink vodka, try "level."

photocranking with fsj

SO - fakesteve has a little thing on his blog that allows you to put captions, word bubbles, etc on posted photos. It's called Photocrank. (their site here.)

here's one I made on his site, that he pulled out, and posted separately.

Word.



UPDATE: According to FSJ himself, I'm the "Art Director" for fakesteve.blogspot.com. How cool is THAT?!?!

Facebook, and the Z-Man

yet more photoshop work that made it onto fsj.
(well, at least the first photo did. I like the last one.)





now i just need to find a job where i can get paid to goof off like this:

this can't be real - it just can't be...

FSJ linked to this from his site.

I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth.

chicks at the mall

So I totally picked up the two chicks at the mall today.

They were TOTALLY into me.

I think they wanted a threesome, but I had stuff to do.

Besides, my S.O. might have gotten irritated.

One of them will probably call me.

I'm hot.

surveillance

OK - so NOW, my blog is tracking hits.

I need 3 more to get to 100!

According to the log - I've had people from France, Germany, and Hawaii look at this.

Anyone care to comment with their location?

(Of course, only people from Wisconsin will comment.)

OR - someone will SAY they're from somewhere - when in actuality, it'll just be my stalker from the KwikTrip down the block.

(GOD - I WISH I had a stalker!)

It's not just a hondo...

Ben Franklin had a fantastic quote.

"3 may keep a secret, if 2 are dead."

Yeah - that's pretty true. Especially in the day of email, text messages, blogs, and twittering. (I'm a big guy - I don't "twitter.")


So - people know now, the secret is OUT, the cat's out of the bag, huh? Yeah - I guess it is.

The funny thing about that, is that I never really wanted the cat IN the bag.

I dig it. I'm happy. I'm fantastic.

I feel like yelling it from the "stage."

More FSJ Art

My family seems to think that I have a man-crush on Fake Steve Jobs.

I just like the fact that he gives me an outlet for my photoshop habit. :)

iChatting with Fascists

Turns out that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has a freaking blog. (And I bet he gets more hits than I do.)

That silly fact made me think of him using a webcam to chat with Hugo Chavez. Hysterical.

this pretty much explains it all...

Women of the world - take heed:

Some FSJ Stuff

If you don't read the Secret Diary of Steve Jobs - you really need to.

Here's just a smattering of some of the (unpaid - ha) work I've done for Fake Steve's Blog:

Early in the 4th

9 minutes left.

Slaughter.

4

Fear the 4.

In

Freaking awesome.

I love this state.

Walking

Almost there. :)

Chili

Tailgating.

Craig is my hero.

First Stop

Gotta get coffee first.

Dino - Mite

Really a very cool show so far.

Nosebleed Heaven

I can hardly complain, as the tickets were a gift. And its sold out.

Just Buy It Baby...

The debut CD from some friends of mine.

Dig it.

working for the weekend...

SO - it's Friday night - and as always - I'm Mr. Mom. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining in the least. It's a statement of fact.

Friday nights, I have my son - and my ex goes out. Saturday nights, she has said son, and I go out. It's the delicate balance in my little universe. :)

This weekend is going to be my busiest in a LONG time. I'm actually already dreading work on Monday.

Tomorrow, Jennifer and her daughter, and me and my son are going to see "Walking With The Dinosaurs." It should be completely amazing. My boss took his Grandchild to it this afternoon, and was just floored at the spectacle. I was floored that he took a Friday off.

After that - the children will be dropped off at their OTHER parents' homes, and Jen and I will attempt to get some dinner, and hopefully grab a drink with my best friend. He turns 37 tomorrow.

Sunday, we're heading up to the (almost literally) Frozen Tundra® of Lambeau Field© to see the Packers take on the Raiders.

Tailgating beforehand is of course, a necessity.

Blog pics to come whilst the merriment ensues.

At Best Buy

Rock out little man, rock out...

Omaha Shootings

A friend of mine who lives in Nebraska was working at the mall while everything with the shooting was happening.

This is posted with her permission:

+++++

Dec 5, 2007 8:36 PM

I was there. It was awful.

Little old ladies were running (RUNNING!) for their lives.

After I shut my gate to my store... and hid in the shelter of the bathroom... I shook from head to toe and was literally scared to death... and then as I peeped my head out... I saw ATF and FBI and Omaha PD with MACHINE GUNS and they were using my store as protection as they look for the 'perp'. (he was still at large)

I grabbed my stuff in haste and fled the store with FBI agents with SHIELDS.

I was petrified and saddened because I knew by watching the news in my store that there were already TWO confirmed dead.

They shuttled us to a secluded hallway... where after they completely secured JCPENNEY, they shuttled us in to there... my friend, Sam, and I cut in front of a line of almost 200 people (mostly mall employees) and gave a statement and were then permitted to leave.

As we left the mall... I saw more police vehicles and ATF agents than I've ever seen in my life and every single one would stop us and question us and make sure (which is kind of relief considering the situation).

Once we were finally outside the confines of Westroads.... I couldn't help but feel somber and completely saddened by all that I had witnessed.

Like the lady covered in blood from the gunshot wounds of her now deceased husband.

and why? because some poor kid apparently didn't get hugged enough and decided he wanted to "go out in style".

Guess what ASShole... Style is not causing grief to everyone and inflicting fear in the American public.

You were selfish and awful.
You deserve to rot in hell.

ok. i'm at the bar right now and sad and it's taking everything not to cry....... at the loss that Omaha has suffered.

Cookie Day

Impressive baking going on in Brookfield.

Awesome CD... Probably not.

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

"It's a nice day... For a White Christmas... It's a nice day to...
Start again."

i want to get married again!

Kudos to Jen for sending this to me.

I almost want to get married again now!

(Of course, that's probably just the gin talking.)

went broke believing...

I highly recommend this guy's stuff.

http://www.mattnathanson.com/

His CD is on iTunes for $7.99 - It's called "Some Mad Hope."

I've spent $8.00 on dumber stuff, that's for sure.

Hysterical Conversation

OK - so Jennifer and I went to see the Five Card Studs last night at the Milwaukee Ale house. (www.fivecardstuds.com)

I've seen this band more often than I haven't - as a result, I've become friends with them. Great group of guys - with SEVERE musical talent.

"Blake Tahoe" and I were talking before they went on, and I was telling him how I bought my 8-year old "Rockband" for Christmas.

He said, that I probably shouldn't have - as the last thing an 8-year old needs is the illusion planted in his head that being in a band is a real job.

He suggested that I return the game, and buy him a stethoscope instead.

Apparently, REAL musicians think it's a better idea to PRETEND to be a Doctor, instead of pretending to be Rock Star.

Reverend Al Green

Nobody pays tribute to Al Green like Mr. Reno Nevada.

Period.

Almost

The guys are setting up, and the Level Screwdrivers are going down
nicely.

Energy

Too funny.

I WISH I had their energy.

by the pricking of my thumbs...

...something wicked this way comes.

We're getting the band back together

So I bought "Rockband."

It's like Guitar Hero, but with a guitar, drums, and a microphone.

This is gonna be awesome.

I don't think I can wait until Christmas to give this to the boy.

Cheating Death

(This is probably going to be a long one - so bear with me.)

So I had dinner with an "old friend" tonight. Kinda nice - even though I lost the rock paper scissors battle over who paid. (Who DOESN'T know that it's ALWAYS 2 out of 3?!?!)

Anyway - he reminded me of something that I had forgotten.

I should be dead. Seriously - I should be - and here's some reasons why:

I had to have an emergency appendectomy.
OK - so not a HUGE thing - until you hear a little back-story.

I was doing some installs and training for a graphics arts training company. I was traveling - if you can consider 45 minutes way from home traveling - and for a couple of days, I had just a horrible stomach ache. I chalked it up to not a real big deal - until the pain became unbearable, and my fever topped 104.

After catching ALL kinds of hell from the people I was training, and the other trainers, I finally made a call to my Doctor.
(They accused me of being a wuss - which I am.)

After diagnosing me over the phone - he advised me to check myself into the hospital - ASAP. Blood tests came back, readings were read - and I needed to go under the knife.

Well - my appendix had to go. From what I was told post-op, it was gangrenous. Yeah. Exactly. Yuk. Bottom line - had it burst - which it would have within the next 24 hours - I would have died.

So that's instance #1.

Nasty SUV Accident #1
If you can call a Geo (TOTAL Girl Car) Tracker an SUV!

Remember those death-trap Geo Trackers?? Well, I had a soft-top one. It was cool in the summertime, but proved awfully easy to break in to, so you could steal an Alpine cd-player, an under-the seat amplifier, and 2 really nice Pioneer speaker boxes... But I digress.

So anyway - I was out for lunch - and on my way back to my office. I had pulled into a gas station, roughly 2 minutes FROM said office. I was waiting to cross traffic, to turn left, and head down one the main drags. Cars were stopped in from of me, waiting for the light to turn green. Some a-hole (I can say that now) in a full-size white Suburban (with black trim) had stopped, and was waving me across. The Suburban was big - like most Suburbans - so I couldn't exactly see around it. He waved me across, so I pulled out in front of him, and proceeded to make my left turn.

Halfway through my turn, I looked up to see some dipshit girl driving her Mom's Jeep Grand Cherokee - speeding through the yellow painted-off area before the turn lane. She was speeding to make the green left-turn arrow. Never slowed down. WHAM. She t-boned me. Next thing I remember is looking UP at a paramedic, or fireman. I was thrown from the vehicle, and was laying on the asphalt. (Which is odd, as I ALWAYS wear my seatbelt.) Anyway - The Tracker was totaled, and I felt like hell, but other than that - no REAL damage, to speak of.

Motorcycle Accident

I was riding my Harley to work one day. It was a beautiful day, sun was shining, kinda warm, and I just kinda felt like it. So be it.

There's this one little stretch of my trip to work where cars line up to turn left, and cars going through that intersection go around them to the right, and proceed forward. I was doing that. (going forward, that is.) I don't know what made me look at the big-ass truck to my left, but I did. (Thank God.) He was moving over into my lane. Not good.

The really bad thing about this particular intersection is that there's the street, a curb, a sidewalk, then a beautiful 3-foot concrete wall. ie - no place to bail out, if necessary. Not good.

Basically, I had nowhere to go. Except down.

I locked up the brakes, the Harley's back tire slid out to my right, and I went down HARD. The only things I really remember are 1 - saying to myself (and yes - I really said this) "Shit. This is gonna hurt." and 2 - my head hitting the street.

I was right. It hurt. A lot. I got up, dusted myself off, and other than some blood and bruises, I felt fine. For now. I made a couple of phone calls, and the guy in the truck behind me called 911.

It was getting progressively more difficult to breathe - so much so that I thought I had broke a rib. But I was walking, talking, joking around, etc. I figured I'd be OK. (Rub a little dirt on it - it'll be fine!)

Wrong.

The adrenaline eventually wore off, and I all but passed out. The paramedics and firemen were already there, so as soon as I hit the ground, they strapped me to a short board. (OK - THEY call it a "long board," but I'm 6'5" - a "long board," it's not - trust me.)

I was rushed to the hospital, and moved to the ER. I got 4 I.V's stuck in me (two in each arm) and was moved to room for observation. From what I was told from my family - I looked kinda like the Michelin Tire dude - all bloated. (You have 8 pints of blood in your body. I lost 5 pints inside my chest cavity.) My pulse was barely registering, and I remember being extremely cold. Now I know why.

I was rushed into surgery, and they removed my spleen. (Along with seeing that I had a bruised liver, bruised kidneys, a collapsed lung, and a concussion.)

About a year after that - I finally felt like my insides had "settled." They cut me from the bottom of my breastbone to my belly button, (24 staples) pulled everything out (seriously - that's what my surgeon said) took out my spleen, and put it all back in.

You know how when you open up a road map, and try to fold it back up? Even if you DO get all the folds right - it still doesn't lay flat, right? That's what my abdomen felt like.

SUV Accident #2

I eventually got a Jeep Grand Cherokee. It was decent. I had the Laredo model.

SO - a little over a year from the Harley accident, I was on my way back to the office. (Are you seeing a pattern here?!?! God is telling me to NOT work!) THIS accident happened less than a mile from the Harley accident. Same road - two stoplights past.

I was the third car in line at the stop light. Something didn't feel right. I looked in my rearview mirror. There he was.

I said to myself, (why do I always have to say something to myself) "Holy shit. This guy isn't gonna stop..."

He didn't. Didn't stop, didn't slow down. didn't even APPLY his brakes.

Dude hit me full speed - going probably 40. (He hit me so hard that my seat broke.)

I tried to hit my brakes - but I hit the gas instead. Rammed and pushed the car in front of me, who in turn would have hit the car in front of him, but THAT car heard this going down, and pulled out of the way.

SO - another "short board." Another trip to the hospital - but nothing near as major as the cycle accident.

OK - this post is long enough.

Crossroads

When one comes to a crossroad - both literally, and metaphorically, it's always safest to go left.

Irritable

When THIS is your main source of nutrients, one tends to get grumpy.

All The Same

I'm sure everyone has seen this before - but it really hits me.

I'm thinking that it's the song, more so than the video...

Paper

Not sure if this is blog-worthy or not, but it looked cool.

McRib is back!!!

STOP THE PRESSES!!!

I know it's been "back' for a while - but in case you're living in a goddamn cave - MC RIB IS BACK!!!

How freaking awesome is this?!?!

I mean - just when you think it can't get any worse - McDonald's goes and saves us all!

Target has their Christmas stuff up already.
The weather sucks.
There's less daylight.

Wham!

In steps McD's to make it all better.

There's no place like Nome for the Holidays...

So anyway - I've got this problem with the Holidays.
No Holiday specifically, just "The Holidays," in general. Seems I get in this festive funk sometime around Thanksgiving, and it ends somewhere around the end of January or early February.

I'm not saying that it's right - but that's what it is. I don't know if it's the fact that I live alone, the fact that I'm divorced, or what.

It can't be any of those things, actually. This has been happening to me since I can remember. (But to my defense, I can't really remember a whole lot before about a year or so ago...)

I wish there was some way to get over all of the shit that runs through my head. There just isn't. I've tried - as far as I can remember. haha.

So anyway - if I'm irritable, annoying, stubborn, or just a humongous pain-in-the-ass - get over it.

This too, shall pass.

MIA? KIA?

Yeah - it's been a while.

For the four people that actually read this - Something should be up tonight...

Thank God...

Finally. The boy tells me that he wants a hair cut.

Done.

Yikers...

Ok. Is an explanation REALLY necessary???

I think not.

FINALLY!!!

There is a God, and he likes the band Cake.

Finally got my preordered copy of "B-Sides & Rarities."

Sorry for the lack of blogs lately.

It's been a rough couple of weeks.