Pulled the trigger

Upgrades.

This should be interesting.

Saturday Starbucks

Nowhere near as interesting as before. What a buzzkill!!!

...and the hits just keep on a comin'

Unbelievable.
Completely, totally, unbelievable.

Ed calls me today, and says that he's skipping the country.

Apparently - the government gets a little upset when you fail to pay your taxes for the last 25 years.

More to come as events unfold.

Nectar

Mmmm. Gotta Getta Guinness.

Scrambled drunk eggs

No story necessary.

Headache tomorrow fo sho.

Soup is good food

David loves his soup.

Just the thing for late night fodder.

Go BoSox!!

Awesome.

Series tied 3-3.

I'll wear my Sox gear with pride tomorrow!!!

Barbed Wire Donuts

Yum.

Nuff' Said

Yeah.
You know it.
Walk towards the light.

Impressive

My ex and I share custody and placement of our 8-year old son. For the uninformed, that means together, we make decisions for him. It also means he has two homes. Two rooms. Two separate sets of "stuff."

He spends every Wednesday night through Saturday afternoon with me at my place, and then Saturday nights through Wednesday mornings by his Mom. It's consistent - which is the best thing, in my opinion, for any child. Consistency.

Is it an ideal situation? Probably not, but it is what it is, and we make it work.

I HATE people in my situation who refer to themselves a a "single-parent." Get over yourself. You're not.

At the most - you're a PART-TIME single parent.

So anyway - my ex left for Boston last Friday. She returned late last night. (Thursday) I've had my son since then.

Alone.
By myself.
Flying solo.

I've never complained about taking care of my son - I'm supposed to. (Think: Chris Rock) I'd gladly take him more. This year, my ex's schedule has been such that I've had a LOT more time with my son than was "officially" laid out in our divorce decree.

It's awesome. I love it. Can't get enough of it.

Is it fun? Hell yes.
Is it easy? Hell NO!

My admiration goes out to real single parents.

Much respect.

Estrellita, and the importance of hardware

Quick post - then off for some debauchery.

Ed's got game - he's got game like Rico Suave. Like JFK. (And JFK Jr. too!) Like Wilt Chamberlain. Like Bill Clinton. Like Cyrano de Bergerac. You get the point - no need to explain further.


Turns out this "Jessica" girl wasn't totally forthcoming.

Sure - they hit it off. They had fun at the bar. They had fun eating their double-webb's at 2:30. They even had fun at her place shortly after said double-webb's. But that's where it gets kinda sketchy.

(Mind you - all of this is being reported third-hand by me, so if I screw up some details, or mess up the timeline - don't bitch about it.)

ANYway - Ed and Jessica get back to her place and they "talk." they talk about their families, their wants, their needs, etc, etc, etc... From what it sounds like, it's going pretty well.

She gets off the futon, saunters over to the HiFi, and puts in a little Esquivel. Estrillita, I believe. The lights are dimmed, the candles are lit, and Ed's thinking that it's time to get his freak on. (HIS words - not mine)

Jessica comes back, sits down, and gives Ed "that look." Ed - being the "playa" that he is, pulls a Hitchesque move, and moves toward her the suggested 90%. She moves in the 10, and their lips touch.

I know what you're thinking - Score one for the old guy! (wait - it gets better)

Within the first half second of the kiss, her front door flies open. The frat boy from karaoke comes barging in. As it turns out, Toby (I swear - that's his name) is Jessica's fianceé. First, Toby is upstaged by my man Ed at karaoke, and now, Ed is fixing to knock boots with his woman. Not a good scene.

Toby is irate, Ed is confused, and Jessica is LOVING it.

Toby starts screaming at Ed - She's my fianceé, we're getting married, she knows my Mom, blahdy blahdy blah blah..

Ed's all like, "Dude. No ring. WTF?"

With that simple statement, Jessica flies off the handle.

"Yeah loser. No ring! I told you to get a job, save your money, get credit - but Noooooo!"

(Anyone who's been in a relationship with a woman knows what "But Noooooo" sounds like.)

The whole argument then switches from Toby and Ed, to Toby and Jessica.

Ed slid out the door, lost Jessica's address, number, and general description.

I may have to resign my wingman duties.

In a seedy karaoke bar, by the banks of the mighty Bosphorus...

The picture at left is a guy I know. Ed.

Let me tell ya - the guy can sing. It's like his voice was touched by the finger of God himself. Some guys get looks, some get charm, some get money. Ed got his voice. (Which, as you can probably guess, is a HUGE hit with the ladies.)

He's hardly the best looking man the world, definitely not the most wealthy, and definitely not the youngest. He does, however, have the most "chutzpah," as they say in Iceland. (Or is that Greenland? I can never remember.)

So I'm out a couple of nights ago with Ed. He HAD TO get out and "croon," as he calls it. So we head to the Chancery. It's a quaint little pub that has karaoke on Tuesday nights. I'm got nothing in the vocal department, but they have New Glarus' Spotted Cow on tap - which is always good.

We walk in - and as if on cue, the karaoke DJ starts playing Chicago. (Not the cheesy 70's-80's band (25 or 6 to 4), or the 90's musical Chicago, but Old Blue Eyes' "My kind of town, Chicago is..." It's Ed's song. Dude OWNS that song. Close your eyes, and you'd think you were at the Sands in Las Vegas in 66. He's that good. No lie.

Ed jumps behind the karaoke screen, (like he needs to read the lyrics - I think not.) unplugs the singing frat boy's mic, and grabs the second microphone from the stand - and just takes over. As stated before - dude OWNS Frank. Frat boy is speechless, The DJ isn't totally freaking out - as within a half verse - he thinks that this is a GOOD thing. SO off Ed goes.

He took us all on a vacation. A lyrical, musical vacation. (All this, the day before Joey Bishop - the last living member of the Rat Pack - died, at age 89.)

Ed finishes, and the crowd is just spent. Tears are in everyone's eyes, smokers and non-smokers alike need to light up. Again - it was THAT good. But Ed is just starting.

He takes a shot of Jagermeister, and he decides he's gonna try to hit on this model. (OK - maybe she wasn't a model, but she was model-quality hot.) I'd put her at about 23. Ed's like 60. Maybe older. I've never seen his ID. I snicker to myself. It was great.

So he walks up to her - clear out of the blue, and says, "Hey beautiful - I'm Ed."

"Hi. I'm Jessica."

And I'll be damned. Dude forgot I was even there. He spent the rest of the night chatting this girl (GIRL - not woman) up, and after 2 hours or so - he leaves with her.

I think they're engaged.

Picnic at School

Had a picnic lunch today at my son's school.

I wonder how long it will be until he thinks I'm not cool anymore.

What time is it now???

The Donut is God's Perfect Food

OK - after much backlash on the donut post, (from a WHOPPING TWO COMMENTS!) I feel the need to justify the donut.

It's a well known fact that man found fire, invented the wheel, and then thought about combining the two. In this case, however, the "wheel" was made out of flour, sugar, and love, instead of stone. But as the Persians have found out (the hard way, I'm afraid,) there are less than copious records in existence. So we'll jump forward a bit.

2nd Century BC
The Roman scriblita, described by Cato in the 2nd Century BC, was probably a precursor of both fritters and doughnuts. Lumps of moist dough (leavened with sourdough) were spooned into hot fat, and allowed to stream in random shapes. In Latin, scriblita means "a kind of pastry."

7th or 8th Century
It is believed that the art of deep-frying came to Japan from China in the 7th or 8th century. Cooking oil was very expensive in those days, so Buddhist temples were about the only places serving deep-fried food. (Ever seen a skinny Buddhist? I think not!) Some of these delicacies were deep-fried sweet cakes. It was only in the 16th and 17th centuries, after European culture was introduced to Japan, that vegetable oil, so important for deep frying, was produced in Japan in large quantities. Tempura soon became popular throughout the country, bringing a new culinary sensation that sprang partly from European and Chinese cuisine.

1809
The earliest occurrence of the term 'dough nut' is in the "History of New York" by Washington Irving (1809) wherein he wrote in a comical description of Dutch settlers in New Amsterdam (later New York) that "The table ...was sure to boast an enormous dish of balls (try to keep a straight face) of sweetened dough, fried in hog's fat, and called dough nuts, or oly koeks."

The rest is history. (as well as the previous, I guess...)

Don't diss the donut. Anything deep fried is good.

my kid is the coolest

This is a Lego "Jabba The Hutt" he made today.

I dig it the most.

Icing waterfall

SO good. And good for you!!!

Haha.

random observations on a sunday

It's Sunday morning - almost 10:00. I'm waiting at a Starbucks for my son to get finished with Sunday School.

OOH! Shakedown Street by the Grateful Dead is on now. ROCK ON!!!

So anyway - here I sit. Drinking overpriced coffee, blogging on an overpriced laptop, hooked up via overpriced WiFi.

Ain't America Great?!?!

Unfortunately - there aren't a lot of freaks here now, or I'd snap a picture and post it for your perusal. Basically just parents and their kids, a couple of old guys reading the paper, and some 40-something dude with - get this - two earrings in his left ear, and one in the right.

He just turned his head - long sideburns too! STAY HOT! (Quote attribution - JL)

At least the woman he's with looks normal. Pretty cool glasses. She genuinely looks interested in what Captain Tool is saying. He must be talking about how he thinks that global warming is SUCH a crisis - and how we're not doing enough to save the planet. He probably wants her to think globally, and act locally. All this while he sucks off the corporate teat.

Of course, he could be telling her about "this chick he banged like a rented gong," last night - y'know, trying to impress her with his prowess. Doubt it.

Nobody new has sat down in a while. Nothing new to report.

However - there's a dude sitting in the comfy chairs wearing - get this - a long sleeve, freshly pressed, Polo Oxford shirt. It's good look. Clean, Crisp, Classic. NOW - the bad part. Old boy is wearing a pair or navy blue athletic shorts. Yikers. Now of course, I'm not exactly the most fashionable dude right now. Pair of Jeans, Black Sweatshirt, Michigan State hat. College Casual. But I'm not faking it like that dude.

His 'ensemble' is like the mullet - the hairstyle of choice for Guidos and Rednecks everywhere. The top says business - the back says PARTY.

ROCK ON! Touch of Grey by the Dead is on now.

Anyway - back to Mullet Man. He's a walking mullet! The freshly pressed Polo Oxford says "business" - and the Athletic Shorts say "PARTY ON WAYNE!" Upon further review - he might get his eyebrows waxed too... But I digress.

Three little chippies are here now. All with the same clothing. It's like Mr. Abercrombie and Mr. Fitch threw up all over over them. It's funny. During our adolescence, we strive to be individuals. Yet by trying to be an individual, we end up dressing, talking, acting, and essentially BEING like everyone else. There's literally NO difference between any of them.

They probably all ordered a half-caf, no-fat, low-foam, gingerbread spice, triple pump vanilla, soy latte... Again - STAY HOT! (Thanks again JL)

The kid sitting athte table next to me is cracking me up. He's probably 3, and he's totally messing with his Dad. Totally smack talking. And NOT in a smart-assed way. He's really cute, and sweet about the whole thing. I half expect him to say, "Chill Pops. I'm just breaking your balls man. No worries."

Sugar Magnolia is on now.

Which brings me to a thought. I dig the Dead. No problem with them, whatsoever. I owe that to a ex-roommate of mine. But anyway - I'm really more of a B-Side guy. Play the obscure stuff. "Greatest Hits" releases are for pansies. Play Bertha. Play Help is on the Way. Play Slipknot.

OK - I've got my free iTunes download card. Thanks Corporate America.

Cute girl just sat at the table in front of me. Boston Red Sox sweatshirt. BIG textbooks. SMALL cell phone. Messy hair. Caramel Machiatto drinker. Hmmm. Reserving judgment on that one. And thank GOD - not wearing FLIP FLOPS!!!

God, I hate flip flops. They're the "sweatpants" of footwear. NOTHING says, "I'm the laziest person on the planet," like a pair of sweatpants and flip flops.

Wow. It's 10:15 already. Time to go, I guess. I might have to hit Krispy Kreme with the boy after I pick him up from Sunday School.

God likes donuts.

(Bloging all of this was SO worth the $6 to rent Starbucks WiFi.)

This guy makes me hungry...

Kinda spooky, huh??

At least the pizza is good.

Swimming Lessons

I swear that my kid is part fish.

brain droppings...

Everyone thinks that their family puts the capital "D" in "dysfunctional." Yes. Everyone. Admit it.

If you really think about it - who determines what's TRULY "functional?"

We ALL function. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes - not so much. There were times growing up when I thought I wouldn't make it. Hell - there are times NOW when I think the same.

I can't do it.
I won't make it.
I'm screwed.
I'm breaking down.
DAMNIT - I'm out of Vodka!
I wish I had some vicodin.

I've had friends and lost them. I've had girlfriends -and lost those too. Hell - I even managed to get rid of a wife. ;)

The one constant in my life has been my family. For all of our shortcomings - we're always there.

It's strange - you spend the first part of your life trying to avoid your family.

They're embarrassing. They're uncouth. They're the bane of our existence.

"Dad - stop it - you're embarrassing me."
"Mom - leave my hair alone - it looks fine."
"Little brother - get out of my room."
"Dude - you just cock-blocked me."

All of that eventually fades, and you come to realize that you've taken the things you like about your family, put them in a cuisinart, hit "puree" - and VOILA! You've got you.

As a clarification, family doesn't just mean we share the same lineage. Family includes the people who 'came to the party late,' and THEIR 'family.' People who are there for Birthday parties. People who just show up on Christmas Eve - even if it's just for the shrimp.

There are a finite number of people I'd cut my arm off for. I saw most of them tonight.

Happy Birthday you. Even though you "came to the party late," I'm WAY glad you made it. :)

Looks like I have to hit "puree" again...

Fire Hazard

Family birthday party tonight.

Not mine though...

Fall is Here

When I left home this morning, it was 45 degrees.

I love fall - or as the Scandinavians say, "Autumn."

Hair of the dog...

Kettle Hills

Hungover golf... It's the best!!!

So THAT'S what they are...

Now, I just gots to get me some tea.