strawberry poptarts & gran marnier

Strange things happen when I drink Gran Marnier.

And sadly enough - this story is NOT the strangest.

Thursday, January 3rd, 2008.

I'm bored out of my head at home. Even though it was a short week. I decide I need to go down to the corner tap for a cocktail. For SOME ungodly reason, I've got a jones on for some gran marnier. eeeeesh. I should have known better.

I drive the mile or so to a local bar called "Richard's." I've driven past it hundreds of times, but never had the desire, or inclination to stop in. Tonight was the night.

I walk in, sit down, look at the bartender, and order my GM. He looks at me a little strange, walks to one end of the bar, grabs the bottle, dusts it off, and pours my snifter. Jokingly, I ask him if he's Richard. He says yes, and extends his hand. As we shake, he says, "Richard. Richard Fairbrass."

He looks oddly familiar.

"Appitizer?" He asks.
"What ya got?" I reply.
"Strawberry Poptarts."
"Seriously?"
"Heck yeah - they're the best."
"What the hell."

The aroma of toasted frosting wafted through the bar as I finished my first snifter. Lovely. Orange and strawberry. Together at last. Oraberry? Strawange? Whatever - it works.

It's about 11:30, and this other dude walks in. Richard shoots him a dirty look. I don't think the guy even saw it - he was too intent on getting to the jukebox. He throws his money in, and makes his selection. Through the empty bar, except for me, Richard, and the random (or so I thought) guy, the speakers start blasting "I'm too sexy."

With that, Richard jumps the bar, and completely bum rushes the random guy.

"F-You Fred. I'm tired of this crap. Why can't you just let the past go man? It's over. Handle it." screamed Richard.

"No Richie - YOU'RE the one that's 'over.' WISCONSIN?!?! Bartending? Are you serious?"

Then it clicks.
Richard.
Fairbrass.
Fred.
Fairbrass.
Holy crap.

The brothers from Right Said Fred are fighting in this bar.

I get up, and try to separate these two. Truthfully, for two dudes that I kinda remember as being pretty "in-shape," they fought like a couple of girls.

Long story short - I think Richard's is for sale, and I may be responsible for the return of an international supergroup.

You can thank me here.